Alco-ma-hol

June 16, 2007 at 5:40 pm (Random)

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Here are some public health warnings for alcohol that I would love to see published! Tee-hee-hee.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

5 Signs that you are too drunk:

1) You lose arguments with objects

2) You can focus better with one eye shut

3) You fall off the floor

4) That pink elephant is following you home again5) You wake up screaming “Toro Toro Toro” in the middle of the night

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Man lunges wildly at the Pope

June 12, 2007 at 10:00 pm (Random)

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Anyone who’s as big a Bill Bailey fan as I am must have laughed just as hysterically as I did when they heard this news!! Lol, don’t get me wrong; I don’t have anything against the Pope he seems like a sweet old man (He didn’t even realise that some loony tried to jump into his pope-mobile!!).

I just remember watching the ‘Part Troll’ tour and Bill talking about being adventurous about their lists of “things to do before they die” … lol I think that poor guy got the wrong end of the stick!!

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Hello world!

May 21, 2007 at 7:06 pm (Me, Random)

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Bonjour! Ooooh this is soooo exciting … finally a place to unload the strange and mystical stuff that swirls about in my brain! So I guess an introduction is in order! I am the Krafty Kat – no I’m not some crazy person who can’t spell ‘cat’ – its a nickname of sorts – not that I’m a particularly crafty person! Anyway I’m a resident of the blissfully unaware island of Jersey (don’t even dare ask me if that’s in America – we used to own you!) So here I am sitting in amongst the enormous piles of clothing and old crisp packets that fill my room – (if you listen carefully you can hear the mice scuttling about eating discarded digestives.) And I realise that I haven’t watered my fern … how lame is that! It’s a fern! All I have to do is stick it in the sink with some water every now and then and I can’t even do that! The poor things gone all crispy … mmmm salt and vinegar … Eeek must not be sidetracked with thoughts of deep fried potato!Ok, so maybe you’ve already noticed that the inner workings of my mind are not going to produce symphonies and breakthrough political ideals … but hey ho. Alright, since you’ve been so patient reading this rubbish I’m going to share with you quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! I can watch this over and over again and I end up doubled over in fits of giggles with tears literally streaming down my face!

I swear this cat is possesed or something! Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeE2E7nqe0w&mode=related&search=

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