Public Transport

May 25, 2007 at 6:11 pm (Moans & Groans)


What is it about public transport that attracts wierdos? Is it like some secret mecha for those with no agenda?

Seriously, you either end up sat next to a burberry enveloped kid nervously and rather suspiciously wiping at his nose or sitting next to an old bag lady who smells like she died and nobody thought to clean up the rotting corpse!

Take today for instance, it’s 7:15 in the morning – (my oh so favourite time of day) and our regular bus driver has been swapped with this guy who looks like a dirty old tramp, on his better days! This delightfully hobbo-esque gentleman is also creepy … I mean the kind of creepy that is mentally choosing which knife would work best to evicerate you and remove your fingers and toes! *shiver*

Now it’s getting warm so naturally the skirts and ballet pumps have come out of the back of the cupboard and now the last two times I’ve gotten on the bus the driver has looked at my shoes and muttered to himself, “nice shoes” in this dark little Kevin Spacey voice. Ok, so it’s an innocent enough comment but the thing is that I don’t think he’s actually addressing me when he says it! It’s like some demonic shoe fetish voice that escapes …. creeeeeepy!

Hmmmm… I might try wearing bin-bags over my feet next time, see what he says then!


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Cinema Etiquette

May 23, 2007 at 9:05 pm (Film, T.v, Books etc)


Hmmm … Spiderman 3 … Is it wrong to cheer the bad guys on?

 What about standing up in the cinema throwing popcorn at the screen and shouting “Hurry up and kill the rubber-faced twat” ???

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Phantom Hotty!

May 22, 2007 at 10:00 pm (Me)


So, my parents run this cafe down at St. Aubins right and naturally I get dragged along to help out cos lets face it they’re cheap and need the child labour! Lol, so I’m there locking up one afternoon the other week with just my aunt and who should we see??? …. why a phantom hotty of course!

Oooooh baby was he hot!

 He was some artist from the studio above and he came to ask if he could take his easel back … I swear I melted into a puddle of female hormonal goo and had to bite my tongue before I told him he could take anything he wanted!!!

He was a bon-a-fide cookie … as in “wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating cookies!!”

Hehe, only thing now is that no-one believes me! Cheeky buggers, they think I made him up!

Hmmm…. you may have started to notice that I’m a bit obsessed with food …. it’s not an eating disorder or anything, it’s just the curse of being the daughter of a chef!

 P.s. Am nursing fern back to health … he’s looking a little less smokey bacon.

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Hello world!

May 21, 2007 at 7:06 pm (Me, Random)


Bonjour! Ooooh this is soooo exciting … finally a place to unload the strange and mystical stuff that swirls about in my brain! So I guess an introduction is in order! I am the Krafty Kat – no I’m not some crazy person who can’t spell ‘cat’ – its a nickname of sorts – not that I’m a particularly crafty person! Anyway I’m a resident of the blissfully unaware island of Jersey (don’t even dare ask me if that’s in America – we used to own you!) So here I am sitting in amongst the enormous piles of clothing and old crisp packets that fill my room – (if you listen carefully you can hear the mice scuttling about eating discarded digestives.) And I realise that I haven’t watered my fern … how lame is that! It’s a fern! All I have to do is stick it in the sink with some water every now and then and I can’t even do that! The poor things gone all crispy … mmmm salt and vinegar … Eeek must not be sidetracked with thoughts of deep fried potato!Ok, so maybe you’ve already noticed that the inner workings of my mind are not going to produce symphonies and breakthrough political ideals … but hey ho. Alright, since you’ve been so patient reading this rubbish I’m going to share with you quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! I can watch this over and over again and I end up doubled over in fits of giggles with tears literally streaming down my face!

I swear this cat is possesed or something! Check it out:

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